Why Men Ought Not Listen To Dating Advice From Women

There have no doubt been numerous articles written on this subject that effectively blame women for being women when it comes to dispensing dating advice to men. Things like “women are experts at being women” come to mind. I look at this a bit differently, because you can talk about socialization all you want but I will start with a personal story that illustrates the point I am going to make.

About ten years ago I went to lunch with a couple of my female coworkers at a place that had just opened up near our work. I was single and never been married and they were both in relationships and had been divorced. One was in her mid 20s and the other in her late 30s. In their well-meaning-ness they started dispensing dating advice when my late-30-something coworker said to the other “Oh I don’t agree with that” and they had a 2 minute conversation disagreeing about what they were talking about. The light bulb inside my 31 year old brain went on.

It’s about world view. Many women think that all women think like they do. Everyone comes from a different background and that creates our individual world views. It’s not that different from the fact that different women are turned on for sexual intercourse by different kinds of touch. Do straight women sit around drinking wine talking about that?

Women also understand the rejection that men face like men understand the physical experience of childbirth. It’s been said that 69% of men are rejected before a date happens. I would argue that in today’s dating scene, pandemic notwithstanding, that figure is closer to 90%, at least for Average Joe. Women have often rejected the man they are going out with before they’ve even met and no matter what happens, there won’t be a second date. But they’re excited about going to that place you suggested they’ve never been to before.

A woman recently told me “Don’t ever settle” and I thought to myself…”It doesn’t work that way.” For men dating has become like being the awkward fat kid waiting to be picked in 7th grade gym class for a kickball team that doesn’t exist.

And women just don’t understand. And the best women can admit that. And kudos to all the women who date intentionally, who accept they don’t understand a man’s plight, and refrain from dispensing the dating advice to men.